MEGAN FOX SAYS

CRIED BY: COURTNEY

"Robert Pattinson and Zac - they're just too pretty with the big hair and the suits. And Rob is, what, 22? Zac is 21? That's a joke. Boys in their twenties are a waste of time. They have nothing to offer conversationally; they're immature. I feel like I have a better shot with someone in his thirties."

i think Megan Fox is the only person who gets me.

she says what she thinks and does what she wants.

source

source

ESSENTIALS

CRIED BY: COURTNEY

my three essentials to happiness:

-something to do (work, school)

-something to hope for (SF, Seattle, GLITTER SALE!)

-someone to share it with (christina, megan, aaron, shea, garrett, laurie, etc.)

courtney = !!!!!!!!

BIRTHDAY FUN

CRIED BY: COURTNEY

you know how there are those people that don't like birthdays; they never tell people it's their birthday, they don't think its a big deal... well i am not one of those people. i LOVE birthdays, especially mine. i think we should celebrate the fact that we are alive and have survived one more year. that's why every year, i throw myself a big party.

This year however, i did not throw myself a party. This is slightly ironic because i've celebrated every other insignificant birthday, except for the "big milestones." i had a party on my 15th birthday. but i didn't do anything on my 16th. i guess getting my license was enough. then every year following i had a party: my 17th, 18th, 19th, and 20th. then again my 21st rolls around, which is a HUGE one and again no party.

this year i had many small celebrations...

first i celebrated with my family in portland.

my first drink! toasting with the woman who made me happen: HANS!

out in seattle!

kareoke.

then when i came home my best friend came from SF to celebrate in LA with me!

loves it..

POST-TRAVEL

CRIED BY: COURTNEY

i think im experiencing post-travel depression, or something along those lines.

i have no motivation to do anything... at all.

i dont want to work. i dont want to go to school..

which is bizarre.

i normally love school, i love working, i love working hard, i love the challenge.

now im feeling lazy.

this isnt like me.

on the flip side. next week i will be celebrating my sweet six... twenty-first birthday.

maybe that will pull me out of my funk.

PARIS

CRIED BY: Courtney

i will be in Paris in 45 days.

i cannot wait!

TWILIGHT - PART DUEX

CRIED BY: COURTNEY

(http://astroguyz.com/2009/01/02/top-astronomy-events-in-2009)

here is another rare treat for you.

tonight and tomorrow night.

 venus will be so close to the moon that you will be able to see the... dark side of the moon. check it out!

30 THINGS TO DO BEFORE I DIE

CRIED BY: COURTNEY

1. go to a drive-in movie

2. spend $1000 in a store in one visit

3.  learn another language

4. tell each person how much i appreciate them and the difference they have made in my life

5. fly an airplane

6. shave my head 

7. write a book

8. read the book "this book will change your life" and do everything it says

9. go to every continent (5 down - 2 to go)

10. learn to scuba dive

11. change someone's life

12. fall in love (again)

13. get my heart broken (again)

14. run a marathon

15. grow a garden

16. start a charity

17. swim in a fountain

18. build a fort in a living room and sleep in it

19. play strip poker (for reals)

20. get married

21. start a family

22. paint a self-portrait

23. learn to ballroom dance

24. stay out all night dancing and go to work the next day without having gone home

25. find a job i love

26. have no shame

27. sleep under the stars

28. go on an african safari

29. be myself

30. love myself whole-heartedly

WOMAN

CRIED BY: COURTNEY

"I didn't always know what I wanted to do, but I always knew the woman I wanted to be - I knew I wanted to be a woman who was independent, a woman who was in the driving seat, a woman who didn't need for the man to decide."

   -- Diane Von Furstenberg

(image credit - brightstarlights.wordpress.com)

i believe that this quote mirrors my life right now. to be completely honest, i'm still not sure what i want to do when i "grow up." yes, i am slowly figuring things out. yes, my possible career choices are beginning to narrow. yet, specifics? not so much.

i wish i was one of those people who knew their destiny from the moment they were born. but i'm not. 

in spite of this, there is one thing i do know, the woman that i want to be. 

i want to be a woman who is independent, a woman who works hard, a woman who is respected, a woman who believes in herself.

RESOLUTIONS

CRIED BY COURTNEY:

i love making resolutions. as previously stated, i enjoy change. 

furthermore, goals are motivating. its easier to get where you're going when you have a destination. 

so here are these years resolutions:

1. be nicer to people. 

what i really mean is, i want to be genuinely nicer to everyone. i want to make people's day. i want to take  genuine interest other people and make them feel special. as i have learned from my sister a little caring can go a long way. taking a moment out of your day to ask someone, "how are you today?" can really get you far in life (as well as free cab rides). 

2. talk to strangers. 

i mean, why not? you never know who you might meet. (this kind of ties in with the previous one)

3. think positively.

whatever the mind can believe and conceive, you can achieve. right?

4. decrease my "carbon footprint."

to be honest, i'm not really sure i believe in global warming. think what you want, but i don't think there is enough evidence.  regardless, i still believe that we need to take better care of the earth. this means taking the bus/riding my bike whenever possible. taking shorter showers. recycling better. etc. being vegan?

5. be myself.

im weird. it's true. and recently i miss that about me.

there you have it.

i think those are good enough aspirations for the new year.

so, what are yours?

HAIR TODAY GONE TOMORROW

CRIED BY COURTNEY:

im just like my mother. i constantly need change. i get bored easily.

im always re-organizing, re-arranging, and re-doing things.

im on a constant quest to make things better, to find a new challenge, to experience new things.

i also like to act on my impulses or act without thinking, which often gets me in trouble. but i guess i like the attention.

one thing that im very impulsive about is my hair.

i LOVE to cut and dye it, from platinum blond to black. 

& its always been short. 

my hair obsession started the summer before 8th grade. i was in london for my cousin's wedding.  it was dirty blond about to my shoulders. my mom and i were doing one of those city tours on the double decker bus. we passed by a hair salon with a  picture of a model sporting a sexy pixie cut in the window. we both looked at each other and 2 hours later  later my hair was only an inch and half long. (i wish i had more pictures)

that lasted about a year. from then on i had what my mom likes to call, "the courtney cut." (she still calls it that today when she is doing her bi-weekly "cut your hair" guilt trip). which is a bob. short in back and long in the front.

what can i say? i have a problem.

however, the past few years ive been refraining from cutting and dyeing it, which has proven quite difficult.  i even had a minor rebellion last march and went cool-aid red for a few months. i still get the urge to just chop it all off. luckily i have friends who remind me of all the hard work ive been putting in. 

currently, its a dirty blond color. i'm still growing it out. ironically enough, it's also been a dream of mine to have it longer than my boobs.   clearly, ive never been able to achieve this goal. ive never even been close. but now im finally getting there. 

then i can cut it all off again! i mean why the hell not?

TWILIGHT

CRIED BY COURTNEY:

here is a rare treat for you.
if you get the chance go outside and look at the moon. you will see two bright stars next to it. those two stars are Jupiter and Venus.  you won't see that alignment for another 30 years. it will be in the sky for the next few days! don't miss your chance.

(http://dsc.discovery.com/news/2008/11/26/thanksgiving-night-sky.html)

SEATTLE

CRIED BY COURTNEY:

i lived in seattle for four months back in 2006. it was a bittersweet.

while i enjoyed the city, the people, the arts, ultimately i didnt feel right. so i moved home. the hardest part was leaving  some of the most incredible people i have ever met.

now i visit once a year, using Goodwill's Glitter Sale as my excuse.

this is my third year attending.

this is how it goes: i go to the glitter sale. i buy a ridiculous sequin dress. then i wear it on the new year's eve. this will be my 4th year.

(mickey avalon 2006 / san fran 2007)

we get there earlier each year. yet never early enough to be first in line. this year we we got there at 7am, TWO whole hours before it started and we were still 89th, 90th, 91st. at least thats better than last year (we were around 150th). however, this year was COMPLETE mayhem. i have NEVER, in all my three years, seen so many people. by 8 am the line had already extended past the end of the building. (usually that doesn't happen until 5 minutes before doors open). as we walked out, the line was  through the store, along the outside of the building, and all the way to the bridge!

i got lucky enough to grab a neiman marcus Black Tie Label light pink silk dress with silver bead-work. $20. im probably going to cut out the shoulder pads. regardless, i think this dress will be a great start for 2009.

 i also got a dark brown and black fur cape-let. (i know. weird, a vegetarian who wears fur). and some jewelry. 

overall, success!

CRIED THE FOX

CRIED BY COURTNEY:

I run, cried the fox, in circles

narrower, narrower still,

across the desperate hollow,

skirting the frantic hill

and shall till my brush hangs burning

flame at the hunter's door

continue this fatal returning

to places that failed me before!

Then, with his heart breaking nearly,

the lonely, passionate bark

of the fugitive fox rang out clearly

as bells in the frosty dark,

across the desperate hollow,

skirting the frantic hill,

calling the pack to follow

a prey that escaped them still.